onelast_gaspingbreath's Xanga

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Sun, 15 May 2005 22:42:25 GMT

EDIT* NEW XANGA go to it www.xanga.com/x__digitalbath

So...here. A year from now...

Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours.
In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it.Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,And I still have these memories,But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember. cause that's all you can do.We'll never make another memory...we'll never make another memory.I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together, so I wouldn't have to wake without you today.This time I thought things were real.You said they were. What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,I'm sorry that wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, but I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?I don't consider this a mistake,I just wish the story didn't end this way,Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Today. Woke up from Kims. Went to church. Got along with Family. It was greatness. Went to the park. Hung out with little sis Kendra. Picked up Jeremy, and then Jordan. Walked With them and Cat to Dustins. Went to Goodwill, and to this park I've never been to. Jeremy gave me a ride back to the park. Hah. Um, then I went home with mom. Pretty cool day.

Jesus Loves you

..*.kels.*..<3

Oh and by the way. Cheaters suck.

AGAIN NEW XANGA !!!!!!!!! http://www.XANGA.COM/x__digitalbath

GO TO IT. DON'T SUBSCRIBE OR COMMENT ON THIS SITE ANY LONGER. PLEASE. THANK YOU.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Fri, 13 May 2005 19:39:39 GMT

Okay so yeah this song...Wow..It made me...like...think of so much...It explains a lot. I don't think anyone would understand. I don't think I can ever let you go.

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same
When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go
I just broke down
Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
Because the feeling that I feel within
No other man would ever make me feel so right
Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you its been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me
And you love me I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you I'll put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you crazy over for you
I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?
It's true, no fronting
Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

weekend is here.

Jesus Loves You

..*.kels.*..<3<3

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Tue, 10 May 2005 18:01:55 GMT

"lets get started rehearsal for this fairy tale of our own"

I felt the need to update. Wow.

I did not attend school today. I stayed home. Slept. Had a milkshake. Talked to mom. Me and Cat both didn't go to school. I called Sarah she was in math class..then she called me back and we 3 wayed Dreezy and then Sarah had to go so me and him 3 wayed Cat. Yep. Last night..the scavanger hunt, wasn't as fun as last year...but it was cool. Thanks to everyone out at the park who was there for me last night, sorry I was such a baby..you guys are great. My family and myself have been good lately thank goodness! I <3 them. My moms been so stressed, I hope everything works out for her. She's super mom. Umm well everyone should be getting home from school so yeah

Be on the lookout for my new xanga. I guess a few people can't get into my xanga so I am going to make a new one here shortly.

SARAHS NEW XANGA- natureisawhore67 67 {6 = sars fav number 7 = my favorite number yes!

JESSSSSUSSSSS LOVVVVVVVES YOU

kelseaaaa

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Sun, 08 May 2005 15:34:16 GMT

"Maybe its love but its like you said 'love is like a role that we play'"

Fuck this.

Fuck it.

Fuck guys.

All they want is a peice of ass.

Oh Well...I'm done with guys for a gooooood while.

Happy Mothers Day.

Yesterday Sucked. Last night ruled...why you ask?:

Me+Kim+Missy = stayed at Kims house

Me+Kim = A bit ..Crunk. haha Kim is effing hilarious. The end.

Today went to church. Supposed to go to the park and get ice cream with mother. Neat. Friday night rode up to Bw3's and then stayed at Corys with Sarah and Dreezy. Yeah. Well I'm out. And yes I do feel guilty.

Jesus Loves You.

..*.kels.*..<3<3

Oh yeah...and I saw him last night...I miss him...after all this time..I still miss him. I messed up with him. He was the one I wanted for all times. And still do. But as I said. "Guys suck." But him..he'd still be here for me..even as a friend..If I wouldn't have been so stupid. I miss you, and I'll never get another chance. He's the only one I want to be with right now. I believe he's different, from most of the guys who just want a peice of ass..but like I'd know anymore..I don't even know him anymore... its almost been 2 years..and I still want him.I know this sounds stupid because I was just saying fuck guys, but him..he's the only one. And he'll never think twice about even talking to me again..I just want to talk to him, even as a friend...why's that so much to ask?

Monday, May 02, 2005

Mon, 02 May 2005 19:35:35 GMT

Wasteland....- Nothing Happened. And everything did. Your whole life you can be told something is wrong and so you believe it. Why should you question it? But then slowly seeds are planted inside of you...One by one, by a touch or a look...or a day skateboarding in a park, and they start to unfull and uncurl little green shoots, and they start to burst out of old hulls shells and they start to sprout. And pretty soon there are so many of them. They are named: Love and Trust and Kindness and Joy and Desire and Wonder and Spirit and Soulmate. They grow into a garden so dense and thick that it starts to invade your brain where the old things you were once told...are dying. By the time this garden reaches your brain the old things are dead. They make no sense. The logic of the seeds sprouted inside of you is the only real thing.

Been hanging out at the park lately...yep...I love my family...

Sarah stayed over the weekend. Then I stayed with her. Hung out with some more people. Yeah..well bye.

Jesus Loves You

..*.kels.*..<3<3

edit* I can't stand it. Seeing you like this. She treats you like shit. And you'd be so much better off with someone else. Ughhhh I want you so much. Too much. It makes me cry. I had you. But you didn't like it. I wish you would have liked it. It would have made me so happy. Why can't I be yours..you're the one I want...the thing I can't have..I want the most. I hate this. I hate it. And then theres the other girl..who I know you're in love with. You'd die to be with her. You'd die. And she loves you back. And I'm caught in the middle. I'm scared. And then me...leading a different guy on...who I care for..but he's my friend...I want to be his friend. He's gonna hate me. I shouldn't have did this all to him. That was stupid. I'm better off out of a relationship for now. Maybe someday I'll be special and you'll come back to me..not for a day...but for so much longer. And you'll be mine to hold. -in my dreams...- *end edit

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 12:25:13 GMT

I just want to be a little kid again...

Where boys had cooties...

And kissing was gross...

And you didn't have to worry about hurting yourself or them...

The show wasn't all that good yesterday. I went up there with Kayla Davis,Ash (my lovely cousin), Abby Murrey, Sarah Mcbride, and Mike Edwards.

Mike didn't have money and we didn't wanna be late for the show so I just paid for him so we didn't have to go get his money. Shwoo.

Savannah finally introduced herself to me. Because I was being stupid and not introducing myself. Shes nice!

Then I came home early with Brandon,Cat,Messino,and Tara...Went to the park.Hung out with Miss and Sarah of course.Got Mcdonalds (milkshake yes!). Yeah...Sarah is sleeping in my bed right now. I haven'ttalked to James for quite some time..grr. He got rid of xanga.

I hope practice is cancled today. Probablygoing to the park today with Sarah and Missy...again..woohoo..and uptown.

Well. Bitches.

I'm out yo.

Jesus Loves You

..*.kels.*..<3<3

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 23:23:19 GMT

-you make me completely miserable-

-i'll give you a chance to break my heart, since i've broken yours already-

I just figured out that I am in a really horrible mood. I just got back from the park with Sar and Miss... it was okay kind of rainy and cold though.But I do like rain... Johnny B took us to Mcdonalds. I got my milkshake. yes. Ben and Ford hit a duck and threw it in the trash can. Ducks are my favorite animal, how could they? haha... I am sorry I hurt you because hurting you just hurt myself...and looking at you when you frown. makes me feel like i drew that frown on your face. I am sorry. I haven't updated about the weekend yet it was cool kinda. Bowling alley. Corys. Movies. Park. Ice cream. yep. I hate this looking into his eyes and knowing he doesn't even notice me...I hate it...I just want him to give me a sign that he knows I am there..but now I guess I am getting a little sneak peak at what I've done to someone else...who I still care deeply for no matter what he thinks. My eyes hurts.

This update is too long for me..but I guess I've had longer. I am about to shed tears...James needs to call me..he always makes me laugh...I want the weekend to come soon. Weekends have been good lately. My parents are cool. Gosh I love them. My family has been really cool. I still miss my sister Brooke and I getting along though...Gah...

Well I am sure you are sick of me rambling on with this long long entry...

Bye..Jesus Loves You.

..*.kels.*..<3<3

edit* just got home from the park. i bit cory very hard. and ethan cut my finger with a golf club. i am hungry. woah. i just cried. i miss my relationship between my sister Brooke and I...she's changed... and thats why boyfriends suck. *end edit

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 17:15:14 GMT

And I'm sorry to lead you on like this, when I am still falling for him...

You just aren't what I am looking for.

Wow Thursday freaking rocked. Ben got a ticket before I got out there for having Miss,Kim, and Sarah in the back of his truck going 50 mph through town.Hah. Umm Yeah this guy me and Sarah met (Tim Dudley) took us to Mcdonalds for icecream cause I wanted icecream. He bought and everything. Ford drug me through the grass with my blankey and like killed my back, it was fun though. Then we went downtown omg Brandon Hines had this mask on and was walking down the street and had an umbrella waving to people.Lmao. Then Dudley took us home after having so much fun.I have no idea why that night was so fun. But it was. Last night was alright. Kel took us to halls to get ice cream cause shes awesome. Well...hmm...I'll update more later. I heart you James.

Jesus Loves You

..*.kels.*..<3<3

I ain't no holla back girrrrl!

EDIT* its monday but i dont have enough to update.

the weekend was cool though. update about it maybe when i get home from practice..or else tomorrow

*END EDIT

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 19:51:08 GMT

- so much for me and you. -

"you can't tell me its not worth fighting for"

Oh my! Kelsey is updating.

Hm what to say.

This weeks been okay.

Skipped softball practice yesterday due to feeling ill.

Skipped fourth block with Sarah today. We sat in the locker

room. It was soo funny. No school Friday! Yes!

My little sister smashed her finger in the door =( aww poor

thing. She was crying for so long.

Well If I can think of more to say...I will edit.

Jesus Loves You, yo.

..*.kels.*..<3<3

<3 James Rules <3

edit* Sarah got clc and I didn't. Those of you retards that don't know what clc is, it's iss - in school suspension. Lol! I want it, dang it. Why and how did I get away with skipping?!

Dude, I love the rain. Thunder is okay. But Lightening sucks. And wind is only okay when it looks nice outside. But Rain. Its great and beautiful. I am weird.

*end edit

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 22:37:48 GMT

" if it makes you less sad, i'll take your pictures all down, every picture you paint, i will paint myself out"

Why can't people mind their own business, damn it.

I'm sorry I am not the most awesome girl there is, with that perfect fucking body and the prettiest face. I'm sorry that I am an embarrasment to your friends.

edit* got my hurr did. dark red in the back. and blonde in front. its awesome. lots of people said they liked it. but if ya don't..oh well... oh yeah and about what i said up there ^ in my entry...yeah sorry. i'm good now <3 *end edit

edit again* tuesday

- who would have known that kissing you made me miss him more -

softball tonight! atleast thats one thing to be looking forward to. thanks to everyone with the nice comments...you guys make me so happy <3 ya

*end edit again